STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Six.

  I just put on a second pot of coffee, while fully realizing that it will do no good. This is because I was up late recording theme music for the Hot Plate radio show. According to session logs, my colleague Jarrett Nicolay and I spent about 80% of the session talking about politics, but the small amount of music we cut was just what the doctor ordered. (This is to presuppose the existence of a doctor who orders you to pick up a Stratocaster, crank up the fuzz and reverb, and do your best to channel the great and unsung Eddie Hazel on "Maggot Brain.")

  In other news, it is high time for me to talk about something other than talking. The main dissenting argument I get from my friends is, at its core, this-- 

"We are at war with dangerous people who will never change. Look at all the awful things they're doing! And Trump is doing nothing to stop any of it. That's because he wants it/asked for it//caused it/encouraged it and continues to do so. Thus, civility is impossible. In fact, asking for civility from us is more or less a fifth columnist situation-- you are giving aid and comfort to the enemy." 

I've been at some pains to clarify my position, as it is misunderstood by people every day. I agree with the alarm bells about the pestilential brown shirt type activity. And while I don't agree with the rationalization that when swastikas show up in Maryland, it's ok for you to stop talking to your father forever,

THE STRAUBINICAL CASE FOR CIVILITY

  THE STRAUBINICAL CASE FOR CIVILITY

I'm reading a partisan book filled with advice on how to effectively discuss ideology and politics. It lays out the challenge of communicating with the other side, due to their many faults.

1. The other side wraps itself in an ideological cocoon that no inconvenient fact can penetrate

2. You can't reason with them

3. They are stupid while we are wise

4. They are deluded

5. They are nut jobs

6. They are willfully ignorant

7. The worst of them are sociopaths who bicker instead of argue, rant instead of talk, and parrot instead of think

8. They fill their Facebook pages with Unabomber-level diatribes

  The book goes on to offer copious ammo for the person who has to go up against this wall of dangerous and intractable idiocy.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Five.

  Today's Digest is a remote broadcast from the belly of the beast. I'm here at Dave and Buster's, participating in a traditional American sport. For the maniac with some time on his hands, Spain has The Running Of The Bulls, and American dads with car keys and a limber wallet can take part in The Chaperoning Of The Credulous. This is a place where Americans circulate in a somnambulist ballet, bewitched by row upon row of coin-operated video games, magic claw machines, colorful blinking lights, sirens, and mammoth TV screens that will be sporadically applauded by clumps of morbidly obese spectators. Since today's digest is all about science, I'm framing this as an experiment, where I'm investigating which will arrive  first-- my tater tots, or my total nervous breakdown.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Four.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Four


  Normally you don't want your most difficult challenge of the day hitting you right square between the eyes as you're shambling around like a sightless baby marsupial, in search of functioning coffee. As my vision began to return, adjusting to the light, it became apparent that I would have to explain to my son, without laughing, that the "Karl Marx" he was writing about for a homework assignment was not one of the Marx Brothers.
  Many people see their children as raw dough to be molded, or as an opportunity to keep their own ideas and beliefs alive unto the next generation. To me, that is short sighted, and doesn't really reflect an awareness of a child's real potential.
  I use my son as a kind of middle school mole, reporting back to me about sociological trends in that bizarre cauldron of aggressive conformity, credulous worship of pop culture, and hormones. He tells me that in his little gang of junior bros, they often kid around with other in a playful manner. When I started to pontificate about this over the morning's scrapple, he was quick to reassure me that the only things they would ever "roast" each other about were as follows:

1. A guy's lack of ability in a specific sport, or sports generally
2. A guy's lack of success in convincing girls to talk to him without running away
3. The size of a guy's genitalia

  So, they're careful to confine their witty remarks to the question of a guy's manhood, rather than something that might be hurtful.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Three.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Three.

  Today's Washington Post has a front page article about the Russian propaganda campaign to get Trump elected. "Independent researchers," acc. to the article, have studied how Russian provocateurs worked hard behind the scenes to help American right wing sites spread the narrative of Clinton as a tool of global financiers who could die any second. That is, Clinton could, not the global financiers; these shadowy villains have been around forever, it seems, cooking up their nefarious plots while adroitly managing to remain shrouded in fog and mystery. (Kind of like Gary Busey.) These international cabals can never die; they're keen on youth training and nepotism, and in the manner of sitcoms whose toothy wiseacre children get older and require augmentation by Cousin Oliver, Raven-Symoné, and Danielle Brisebois, they always have a backup plan.
  Since this story suggests that we now have Russia's preferred President on deck, an inarguably repugnant state of affairs whose implications and built-in irony I probably don't need to spell out, I assume that spin is impossible. And when spin can't work, discrediting is the way to go.

THE PRICE OF PIZZA IS ETERNAL VIGILANCE

As promised/threatened,here's today's long piece. Suitable for reading at a relaxed pace, in the wake of your alt-poultry orgy.

THE PRICE OF PIZZA IS ETERNAL VIGILANCE

A few nights ago, something really odd happened.
  After a wearying day (long story), I called to order pizza. Then, after they put me on hold for about 3/4 of "Sultans of Swing," they hung up on me.
  I took it in stride. These things happen. I  called back, was cordially put back on hold again, this time by two employees talking over each other, and I waited through 2/3 of "Year of the Cat." I was just thinking about posting on Twitter, "more like Decade of the Cat, am I right?", when they hung up on me again. Rough night, apparently, at Pizza Clown.
  Now I had to get in my car and just drive to the damn place. I gave my son a piece of toffee to tide him over in my absence (I came to regret that later, but let's not get distracted).

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Two.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST Two.

  Some of you may recall, from the now-distant past, Donald Trump's early and adamant denunciation of rapists, if they are Mexican. It will be interesting to see whether this anti-rapist sentiment is to be extended to other races, such as Caucasian. Obama has been fairly aggressive in dealing with college sexual assault, and an article this morning in the Washington Post--

     (Incidentally, I've noticed that Post articles online will have links in the text to click on to read earlier articles. I'm thinking about providing an old school version of the link, like this-- "Go to a Starbucks or grocery store and pick up a paper")

  --suggests that Trump mightn't continue in the same vein. That is, he might, of course, but then again he mightn't.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST One.

STRAUBINICAL NEWS DIGEST One

My epic post, "STRAIGHT OUTA COMPSON," didn't get much response. I assume that some people didn't agree with it, but I also guess that it may have been a bad call to post a screed of Faulknerian prolixity hours after people's coffee buzz has worn off.
  Anyone who was waiting for me to address at more length issues of racism, etc., might want to give it a look during those slack triptophan-infused hours following your alt-poultry orgy. If you are sequestered with any Trump voters, reading it could help you two ways:

1. Keeping you from making eye contact with right wing kinfolk
2. Helping you talk to them without rancor, should you be forced to.

In the meantime, here are a few items from the news, with my commentary, that I hope will reassure concerned readers that I'm not exactly holding hands with Trump.

SOUND AND FÜHRER, SIGNIFYING--WHAT, EXACTLY?

  If you're on the left, you'll remember this past week for its many shocking twists and turns, its many hate crimes and racial bullying incidents, and the many perplexing reactions to these ugly things.
  That's natural, of course. I don't know if there's anyone out there who doesn't grasp this yet, but we are in the midst of a discussion about what it means to be an American. And what it means to be liberal or conservative. And I know that many of you believe we are entering a phase not unlike the early days of the Third Reich. I haven't heard recently from the colleague who was outraged at some length by my pre-election suggestion that Trump's rise shared some characteristics with the years when Hitler was trying to establish HIS brand, but I assume my Internet friend will be continuing the important job of reminding us petulantly that Hitler and the Nazis were worse. There's a perverse irony, of course, in the notion that people probably pitched in to deny and dismiss the first public nastiness back in Germany too, but those same incidents, now long documented and the stuff of consensus (to the extent that consensus is a thing loose in the world these days), are now being used to diminish the significance of our current American ones.

STRAIGHT OUTA COMPSON

STRAIGHT OUTA COMPSON

On page A2 of a recent Washington Post, the headline reads: "Brawl between moose ends bitterly. After locking antlers, pair became united in death and preserved in ice." Apparently, "moose" is the plural of "moose," but don't be distracted by that. I'm bringing this up because of the obvious metaphor.
  Recently, I've been preaching civility while my friends have been telling me about hideous things Republicans are doing. What some of them are assuming is that I'm saying "Don't speak up about racial hatred, bullying, or hate crimes." And what I'm assuming, unfairly in many cases, is that they aren't perceptive enough to understand what I'm saying.