I’ve spent an unholy amount of time in Facebook posting groups lately.
I’m not inclined today to get into a lot of specific detail about what happens in these groups, because I’m not trying to shame them. But let me provide an overview.
Many groups operate within a robust and complicated set of rules. A common phrase you see in what might be generically described as the “safe space” world is “don’t be an asshole.”
This, of course, sounds entirely reasonable. How could anyone have a problem with that dictum, unless they’re an asshole?
“Being an asshole” is generally shorthand for using traditional bullying techniques such as name calling, resorting to crass ad hominem arguments, and the like. In short, attacking another group member in a personal way rather than discussing their position or statements on the merits. So far, I’m on board.
As with all utopias, though, there’s the danger of being distracted by your own Shangri-La righteousness. I’ve seen people gang up on rule-breakers, group-shaming them, and while it may feel like justice to the folks doing the ganging, to an outsider it looks ugly. I’ve never seen anyone banned from a group or even questioned for talking to a rule breaker this way. It amounts to a rule that you can break the rules, as long as your target is a rule breaker.
I’ve seen a group ban the use of the term “politically correct,” following an odd period where an argument about opera turned nasty. I should clarify that it was nasty in a genteel manner, which means the name calling was more Sesame Street than 42nd Street, and the aggrieved tone indignant, in the manner of wealthy philanthropists, or society grande dames in a Three Stooges short.