RELABEL, AND RESHELVE

  Is it possible for me to say something fresh about the health care vote, given my vast ignorance about the subject, and the acreage of words already planted by a host of demagogues, pundits, talk show hosts, and Facebook orators? Is it wise for me to spend my afternoon trying, given that I already ran out of time to cut guitar parts at today's Hot Plate recording session due to my excessive blathering? 

  Some of you have already surmised that I'm being rhetorical, and those of you surmising thusly are surmising wisely indeed. 

  
        TONSORIAL HOMOPHOBIA

I recently observed my son watching one of gangsta rapper Ice Cube's many Dean Jones-esque performances, in a sequel to the movie "Friday." I walked in as the final credits were rolling, and Max was saying, "Ohhhhhh, this isn't one of the Barber Shop sequels." Naturally, I hate to squander an opportunity to be an asshole, so I said, "Didn't it tip you off when there was no barber shop in the film?" In a comeback worthy of Curly Howard, he said he "just thought they'd moved." 

  I could see his point. If you watch Ice Cube (or, as the New York Times, the newspaper of record, refers to him, Mr. Cube) barbering in the movies where he barbers, it's firmly established in your mind that he's a guy who cuts hair. Were you to spot him between haircuts, you wouldn't necessarily forget about the whole hair cutting thing, even if he was engaged in a string of tragicomic set pieces, involving parties, homophobia and whatnot, none of which have much to do with the tonsorial world. The movie didn't just have  "barbershop" IN the name, it WAS the name. So you could perhaps be forgiven when Ice Cube appears, and your first thought isn't there's no way THAT guy could be a barber. 

  Likewise, you could be forgiven if a vestigial association of Congress with the word "government" is still lingering in your mind from the distant era when they used to get paid to govern.

These days, they're basically sleeping it off in their clothes following the narcotic haze of the election. I'm not trying to suggest that they won't be able to pass a few terrible laws now and then, in the quaint manner of yesteryear. I want to be fair.

           SHOULD EVIL BE EFFICIENT?

So you can still wrap yourself in the narrative of GOP as fiendishly efficient evil cabal, if you wish. It's a free country. But the GOP lacks a crucial element of that narrative-- the fiendish efficiency part. Like the Three Stooges, who always seemed to think that just physically getting into a party was all they need worry about for now, the Republicans don't really have the sweet driver's seat situation they dreamed about. 

They embraced their most extreme wing, in order to take over the government. Okay, taking over government, check. But the nature of the problem is that they can't compromise. It's not even clear to me that their moderates can compromise. And that's saying something. It's like saying, even Elvis wouldn't have eaten THAT sandwich. 

  So, while I'm really going out on a limb and sawing it off here if the Senate surprises me by not queering the deal (feel free to gloat if I'm wrong later), I don't think this bill that they just voted for is what they want, or what they think we or they need, nor do I think THEY think it is. 

  I believe the GOP knows that a real agreement on a bill to repeal or replace can't possibly happen, at least without a long long period of overtime and sobriety. It would be the actual work of governance, which is hard even in a less crazy scenario. And I believe they don't think they can afford that. It's a pretty raw commentary on their respect for the Trump voters, assuming these voters will buy the sham vote, but there it is. 

  The ACA may very well have been wrongheaded, and crassly implemented, but what it was not was a rush job. Leave us not quibble about its flaws, as presumably all of us including Obama know it had many. But they didn't send it out of the nest without at least trying to get it to fly. I maintain those flaws at least had the virtue of being vetted, and debated in a serious way. Maybe it was serious but terrible, as some would argue, but it was an honest effort. It wasn't a cynical exercise to cover your ass quickly because it's embarrassing that you didn't squash the cockroach in the first twenty seconds. The GOP (again, even the moderates-- especially the moderates) would appear to be ignoring the many flaws that are even flaws by their own professed standards. In order to avoid compromising with Democrats, they have voted for a bill they can't possibly believe could or even should get through the Senate intact. 

     PEOPLE READING BETWEEN THE LINES MAY CONCLUDE THAT THIS POST IS MORE OR LESS A LAZY CRIBBING OF CATHERINE RAMPELL

(I refer you to the estimable work of Catherine Rampell in the Post, who wrote just this morning an eloquent and informed breakdown of the phoniness and hypocrisy on display.) 

  So, those of you who like the evil-cabal narrative can stand in this line. Those of you who prefer the democracy-is-finally-working narrative can stand in this other one. The popularity of both narratives will require velvet ropes that can reach from Washington all the way to the sea. (I think it's a sea. Some large body of water, at any rate.)