Son: Dad, want me to show you how I put pine tar all over my baseball gear?
Dad: (looks up from some stupid thing he was doing) Huh?
Son: For example, see how I put it all over my batting helmet?
Dad: What does that do?
Son: It makes the helmet easier to pick up.
Dad: I thought people put pine tar on their bats.
Son: They do. Check out my bat. It's got pine tar all over it.
Dad: I thought pine tar was illegal.
Son: It is. But only if you put it on the barrel. It's ok to put it on the handle. Makes it easier to grip the bat.
Dad: And why do you put it in this middle area of the bat, the part that's neither barrel nor handle? What does that do?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: Isn't that stuff all sticky?
Son: Only if you touch it.
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